June 29th 1917

A typical cricket pavilion moment – checking the scores!

It has been some time since events at school received a mention on these pages. What of the Summer Term, you may ask? For the boys – particularly when the weather is good – time is spent on the river and cricket field.

No cricket match is more keenly anticipated than:

Dragons XI  v  The Fathers

The fathers did battle with their sons this year in the time honoured fashion: competitively.

Mr Barker, who captained the fathers, has provided a match report:

“There was a new and subtle invention this year… According to this invention fathers might bat with a cricket bat or a broom-stick. If they selected the pusillanimous safety of the bat, they might make a maximum of 15. If they chose the glorious risks of a broom-stick, they might make a total of 25.

Mark the dilemma: consider the cogitations provoked. x + 15 = y + 25: find the relative values of x and y, assuming x is discreditable…”

Fortune did not favour the brave and the fathers managed only 37 runs, 15 of which were from the bat of Lieut. Wylie. Mr Barker is slightly less than generous in his remark concerning his top scorer:

“Wylie, murmuring the incredible excuse that he had never handled a bat for the last thirty years, chose the bat and made his inglorious maximum.”

The boys made a considerably larger score than their fathers. Modesty almost prevents me from saying it – they scored 177.

I should mention Mr Barker’s personal contribution – or rather let him explain himself:

“Veni, non vidi, victus sum. I came to the match: I did not see any of the three balls delivered to me; and I was beaten by the first straight one…”

In my opinion, he thinketh too much and playeth too little.